Updated: May 31
Are you a selfish bitch too?
I AM A SELFISH BITCH
I want what I want.
I want the whole enchilada. I want an amazing, loving, trusting relationship with a man that respects me for me and is not ego bruised by who I am.
Someone that allows me to truly be myself and says please and thank you.
Someone that is okay if I don’t feel like cleaning or cooking the perfect meal.
Someone that thinks I am beautiful even after a night of arguing and little sleep.
Someone that understands that I am not always going to be in a super positive mood, I may even be a bitch on occasions! But he won’t take it personally because he understands that it is all part of being me. I want someone that also won’t put up with my shit either! You know when I push it too far or I am being completely unreasonable.
Someone who will have my back but not be afraid to tell me I am making a poor choice…. that I make anyhow!
But sometimes, I am a selfish bitch.
I get so involved with my work that I forget to even say hello to my partner. I sometimes forget to say thank you when he makes me coffee or a really great dinner. I simply dive into the meal.
I don’t always pick up after myself and secretly think, ” well he does it too.”
When he puts on something nice, sometimes I forget to take in the moment and tell him how nice he looks. Even if he puts on nice clothes to make himself feel better.
Sometimes when he has made me angry, I purposely won’t give him a compliment even though I really want to. There are times, when I am having a shitty day and he leans down to kiss me that I just give him a peck and just want to get back to my own self pity and thoughts.
Sometimes, when he asks me the same questions over and over or tells me the same story again as though I have never heard it before, I secretly roll my eyes and think, “yeah, I have heard this one before!”
Sometimes, I just don’t feel like having sex or being intimate with him at that particular moment.
Sometimes, I purposely pick a chick flick to watch, (even though I really don’t want to) just because I can’t stand to watch another episode of whatever he is into that week.
Sometimes, I think his morning breath is awful! And I am hoping he doesn’t want to kiss me on this particular morning.
Sometimes, it’s hard to get through the day when he is grumpy and distant and I am just so tired of trying to always be positive and fix “this” or “that!”
Sometimes, when he asks me to put something sexy on, I think,” Why don’t you put something sexy on for me for a change.”
Yes sometimes, I am a selfish Bitch!
Then I remind myself that he may and probably does have many of the same thoughts and feelings sometimes. And that this is perfectly normal. We are all ok. If we did not feel these things from time to time then I would definitely question things!
It is normal to feel selfish at times. But know this. You are ALWAYS viewing others as a reflection of yourself!
So when you are feeling like a selfish bitch, STOP and remember all the times and moments that you are really appreciative of this person in your life. Remember all the times they did say please and thank you.
Remember all the passionate kisses and great morning sex! Remember when you got to learn something new about them. Remember the gentle touches that filled you with electricity. Remember, that you wouldn’t or couldn’t have the time to even be selfish if it were not for them helping you to feel so relaxed and truly be yourself.
Remember all the dinners and dancing, and laughs you have shared together. Remember that just because you have heard that story like 100 times, how fortunate you are to have been around to hear it for that many times! That he is that comfortable with you to even share memorable moments with you. (They must be memorable if he is retelling them so many times!)
Remember that you also have crappy moods and bad morning breath and sometimes just aren’t “in the mood”. That you too have told the same joke or story over and over and over again!
Remember and know that he is putting up with your shit too and is still here!
None of us are perfect, and sometimes, we need a little reminder of that. All the things that drive you up a wall about your partner are EXACTLY the little things you would miss were they not there!
The next time you are feeling like a selfish bitch, stop and take a moment, and know that someone may be feeling the same way about YOU. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL! Someone out there also thinks you are a shit!
You’re only job from here on out, in any relationship (that includes the one with yourself) is to BE (not just try) BE the best version of yourself that you
can EVERYDAY. Then it does not matter what anyone thinks, you know that you have done is best that you can. You have given it your all and shown up as the BEST version of yourself that your soul can deliver.
DO NOT waiver from this, even if someone is in a shitty mood. That is for them to deal with.
Remember, we are all viewing others as a reflection of ourselves at the moment.
The old saying is true, ” Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” So, be polite, say please and thank you. Respect your significant other. Allow them some shitty moods and at times some bad breath! Let them watch what they want, or be a slob for the day!
Let them be themselves and
work their own shit out!
You just be there for them, and saying thank you to them for letting you be a selfish bitch at times.